Эпизод с Сонограммой в конце / The One With The Sonogram At The End

  1. 00:00:02-00:00:03 You don't understand.
  2. 00:00:04-00:00:07 For us, kissing is as
    important as any part.
  3. 00:00:07-00:00:08 Yeah, right!
  4. 00:00:11-00:00:12 You serious?
  5. 00:00:13-00:00:14 Oh, yeah.
  6. 00:00:14-00:00:18 - Everything is in that first kiss.
    - Absolutely.
  7. 00:00:18-00:00:21 For us, kissing's an opening act..
  8. 00:00:21-00:00:24 like the comedian
    you have to sit through..
  9. 00:00:24-00:00:26 before Pink Floyd comes out.
  10. 00:00:29-00:00:33 And it's not that
    we don't like the comedian.
  11. 00:00:33-00:00:38 It's just that that's not
    why we bought the ticket.
  12. 00:00:40-00:00:44 The problem is, no matter
    how great the show was..
  13. 00:00:44-00:00:48 you girls are looking
    for the comedian again.
  14. 00:00:48-00:00:53 We're in the car, fighting traffic,
    just trying to stay awake.
  15. 00:00:55-00:00:58 Word of advice:
    Bring back the comedian.
  16. 00:00:58-00:01:03 Or next time you'll find yourself
    listening to that album alone.
  17. 00:01:08-00:01:10 Are we still talking about sex?
  18. 00:01:11-00:01:13 The One With the Sonogram at the End
  19. 00:02:05-00:02:07 No, it's good. It is good.
  20. 00:02:07-00:02:11 It's just that Doesn't she seem
    a little angry?
  21. 00:02:11-00:02:12 Well, she has issues.
  22. 00:02:14-00:02:15 Does she?
  23. 00:02:16-00:02:21 He's out while she's home getting
    the mastodon smell out of the carpet.
  24. 00:02:22-00:02:25 Marsha, see, these are cave people.
  25. 00:02:26-00:02:28 Okay, they have issues like:
  26. 00:02:29-00:02:32 "Gee, that glacier's
    getting kind of close."
  27. 00:02:32-00:02:36 Speaking of issues,
    isn't that your ex-wife?
  28. 00:02:36-00:02:38 - No.
    - Yes, it is. Carol, hi!
  29. 00:02:38-00:02:42 Okay. Yes, it is.
    I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age.
  30. 00:02:59-00:03:00 - Hi.
    - Hi.
  31. 00:03:08-00:03:12 You look great. I hate that.
  32. 00:03:13-00:03:16 Sorry. Thanks. You look good too.
  33. 00:03:16-00:03:19 Well, you know,
    in here, anyone who..
  34. 00:03:21-00:03:22 stands erect..
  35. 00:03:25-00:03:28 - What's new? Still a
    - A lesbian?
  36. 00:03:30-00:03:34 You never know. How's the family?
  37. 00:03:34-00:03:39 - Marty's still totally paranoid.
    - Carol, why are you here?
  38. 00:03:41-00:03:44 - I'm pregnant.
    - Pregnant.
  39. 00:03:52-00:03:56 She didn't leave
    in such a hurry after all.
  40. 00:03:56-00:04:01 This is the Three's Company episode
    with a misunderstanding.
  41. 00:04:03-00:04:06 Then I've already seen this one.
  42. 00:04:07-00:04:09 Are you through with that?
  43. 00:04:09-00:04:12 Sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
  44. 00:04:13-00:04:15 Whose ball of paper is this?
  45. 00:04:15-00:04:19 Mine. I wrote a note to myself,
    then I didn't need it.
  46. 00:04:20-00:04:23 So I balled it up
    and now I wish I was dead.
  47. 00:04:24-00:04:29 She already fluffed that pillow.
    You already fluffed It's fine.
  48. 00:04:30-00:04:33 I just don't wanna give them
    any more ammunition.
  49. 00:04:34-00:04:38 Parents can be cruel about
    the flatness of a child's pillow.
  50. 00:04:39-00:04:40 Monica? Hi!
  51. 00:04:42-00:04:45 Monica, you're scaring me.
  52. 00:04:46-00:04:49 I mean, you're all chaotic
    and twirly, you know?
  53. 00:04:50-00:04:51 Not in a good way.
  54. 00:04:53-00:04:59 Calm down. You don't see Ross
    getting twirly every time they come.
  55. 00:04:59-00:05:03 That's because my parents think
    Ross can do no wrong.
  56. 00:05:03-00:05:05 You see, he's "The Prince."
  57. 00:05:05-00:05:08 They had some big ceremony
    before I was born.
  58. 00:05:12-00:05:15 - What?
    - Ugly Naked Guy got a ThighMaster.
  59. 00:05:20-00:05:23 - Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
    - It's beautiful.
  60. 00:05:28-00:05:31 Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
  61. 00:05:32-00:05:33 No, don't touch that.
  62. 00:05:36-00:05:40 Like I wasn't dreading tomorrow
    enough, having to give it back.
  63. 00:05:40-00:05:46 "Hi, Barry, remember me? I'm the girl
    that stomped on your heart."
  64. 00:05:46-00:05:49 Now I must return the ring
    without the ring..
  65. 00:05:49-00:05:52 which makes it so much harder.
  66. 00:05:53-00:05:55 Easy, we'll find it. Won't we?
  67. 00:06:00-00:06:03 - When did you have it last?
    - Doy, right before she lost it.
  68. 00:06:06-00:06:09 You don't get
    a lot of "doy" these days.
  69. 00:06:10-00:06:13 I know I had it this morning.
  70. 00:06:13-00:06:16 I know I had it when I was
    in the kitchen with
  71. 00:06:16-00:06:18 Dinah?
  72. 00:06:21-00:06:24 - Oh, don't be mad.
    - You didn't.
  73. 00:06:24-00:06:29 - Oh, I'm sorry.
    - I gave you one job!
  74. 00:06:30-00:06:33 But look how straight
    those noodles are.
  75. 00:06:33-00:06:38 That's not how you look
    for an engagement ring in a lasagna.
  76. 00:06:40-00:06:42 I just can't do it.
  77. 00:06:43-00:06:47 Boys? We're going in.
  78. 00:06:55-00:06:56 Hi.
  79. 00:06:58-00:07:02 - That is not a happy "hi."
    - Carol's pregnant.
  80. 00:07:02-00:07:03 I found it!
  81. 00:07:05-00:07:09 What?
  82. 00:07:09-00:07:10 Yeah.
  83. 00:07:11-00:07:16 Do that for two hours, you might
    be where I am about now.
  84. 00:07:17-00:07:20 That puts that whole
    pillow thing in perspective.
  85. 00:07:22-00:07:25 How do you fit into this whole thing?
  86. 00:07:25-00:07:28 Carol and Susan want me
    to be involved.
  87. 00:07:28-00:07:33 But if I'm not comfortable with it,
    I don't have to be involved.
  88. 00:07:33-00:07:37 - It's totally up to me.
    - She is so great. I miss her.
  89. 00:07:42-00:07:47 - What does she mean by "involved"?
    - Your job is done.
  90. 00:07:50-00:07:53 They want me to go down
    to this sonogram thing..
  91. 00:07:53-00:07:54 with them tomorrow.
  92. 00:07:55-00:07:58 - What are you gonna do?
    - I have no idea.
  93. 00:07:58-00:08:02 No matter what I do,
    I'm still gonna be a father.
  94. 00:08:12-00:08:14 This is still ruined, right?
  95. 00:08:20-00:08:24 Martha Lugwin's daughter
    is gonna call you.
  96. 00:08:26-00:08:30 - What's that curry taste?
    - Curry.
  97. 00:08:34-00:08:37 I think they're great. I really do.
  98. 00:08:38-00:08:41 The big Lugwin had a thing for you.
  99. 00:08:41-00:08:44 - They all had a thing for him.
    - Oh, Mom.
  100. 00:08:45-00:08:47 Why is this girl going to call me?
  101. 00:08:47-00:08:53 She just graduated, and she wants
    to be something in cooking or food..
  102. 00:08:53-00:08:56 I told her you have a restaurant
  103. 00:08:56-00:09:00 - I don't have, I work in a restaurant.
    - They don't have to know that.
  104. 00:09:04-00:09:08 - Ross, help me with the spaghetti.
    - Yes.
  105. 00:09:08-00:09:12 Oh, we're having spaghetti.
    That's easy.
  106. 00:09:14-00:09:16 This will sound unbelievably selfish..
  107. 00:09:17-00:09:20 but did you plan to bring
    up the baby/lesbian thing?
  108. 00:09:20-00:09:23 It might take the heat off of me.
  109. 00:09:26-00:09:30 That Rachel.
    We saw her parents at the club.
  110. 00:09:30-00:09:32 They were not playing well.
  111. 00:09:32-00:09:35 I won't say what they spent..
  112. 00:09:35-00:09:37 but $40,000 is a lot for a wedding.
  113. 00:09:40-00:09:44 At least she had the chance
    to leave a man at the altar.
  114. 00:09:47-00:09:50 - What's that supposed to mean?
    - Nothing.
  115. 00:09:50-00:09:53 - It's an expression.
    - No, it's not.
  116. 00:09:54-00:09:57 Don't listen to her.
    You've always been independent.
  117. 00:09:57-00:10:00 Even when you were a chubby kid..
  118. 00:10:00-00:10:03 and you had no friends,
    you were just fine.
  119. 00:10:04-00:10:08 You'd read alone in your room.
    Your puzzles..
  120. 00:10:11-00:10:15 People like Ross need
    to shoot for the stars.
  121. 00:10:15-00:10:18 With his museum
    and his published papers.
  122. 00:10:18-00:10:22 Others are satisfied with
    staying where they are.
  123. 00:10:22-00:10:24 These people never get cancer.
  124. 00:10:28-00:10:32 I read about women trying
    to have it all, and I thank God..
  125. 00:10:32-00:10:35 our "Harmonica"
    doesn't have that problem.
  126. 00:10:38-00:10:40 So, Ross, what's going on with you?
  127. 00:10:41-00:10:46 Any stories? No news, no little
    anecdotes to share with the folks?
  128. 00:10:50-00:10:53 Look, I realize you guys
    have been wondering..
  129. 00:10:53-00:10:56 what exactly happened
    between Carol and me.
  130. 00:10:56-00:10:59 And so, well, here's the deal.
  131. 00:11:01-00:11:03 Carol's a lesbian.
  132. 00:11:05-00:11:07 She lives with a woman named Susan.
  133. 00:11:09-00:11:12 She's pregnant with my child.
  134. 00:11:13-00:11:16 She and Susan are
    going to raise the baby.
  135. 00:11:20-00:11:22 And you knew about this?
  136. 00:11:37-00:11:38 Folks are really that bad?
  137. 00:11:39-00:11:42 Well, you know, these people are pros.
  138. 00:11:44-00:11:46 They know what they do.
  139. 00:11:46-00:11:50 They take their time.
    They get the job done.
  140. 00:11:51-00:11:55 They say that you can't change
    your parents.
  141. 00:11:55-00:11:58 Boy, if you could, I'd want yours.
  142. 00:12:00-00:12:01 Must pee.
  143. 00:12:03-00:12:04 It's worse when you're twins.
  144. 00:12:05-00:12:07 - You're a twin?
    - We don't speak.
  145. 00:12:07-00:12:10 She's this high-powered,
    driven, career-type.
  146. 00:12:10-00:12:13 - What does she do?
    - She's a waitress.
  147. 00:12:14-00:12:17 You guys, I kind of
    gotta clean up now.
  148. 00:12:17-00:12:20 Chandler, as an only child,
    you don't have this.
  149. 00:12:20-00:12:23 No, although I did have
    an imaginary friend..
  150. 00:12:23-00:12:25 who my parents preferred.
  151. 00:12:28-00:12:30 Hit the lights, please.
  152. 00:12:37-00:12:39 How long was I in there?
  153. 00:12:40-00:12:44 - I'm just cleaning up.
    - Oh, you need any help?
  154. 00:12:46-00:12:48 Okay, sure. Thanks.
  155. 00:12:53-00:12:54 Anyway..
  156. 00:12:55-00:12:59 So you nervous
    about Barry tomorrow?
  157. 00:12:59-00:13:00 A little.
  158. 00:13:02-00:13:04 A lot.
  159. 00:13:05-00:13:07 So, got any advice?
  160. 00:13:08-00:13:11 You know, as someone
    who's recently been dumped.
  161. 00:13:12-00:13:16 You may wanna steer clear
    of the word "dumped."
  162. 00:13:17-00:13:21 Chances are he's gonna be
    this broken shell of a man.
  163. 00:13:21-00:13:27 You should try not to look
    too terrific. I know it'll be hard.
  164. 00:13:29-00:13:33 Or I'll go down there,
    and I'll give Barry back his ring.
  165. 00:13:33-00:13:38 And you can go with Carol
    and Susan to the ob-gyn.
  166. 00:13:40-00:13:42 You've got Carol tomorrow.
  167. 00:13:43-00:13:47 - When did it get so complicated?
    - Got me.
  168. 00:13:48-00:13:50 - Remember being in high school?
    - Yeah.
  169. 00:13:51-00:13:53 Didn't you think you'd meet someone..
  170. 00:13:53-00:13:56 fall in love, and that'd be it?
  171. 00:14:01-00:14:03 - Ross?
    - Yes. Yes.
  172. 00:14:06-00:14:09 Man, I never thought I'd be here.
  173. 00:14:16-00:14:17 Me neither.
  174. 00:14:35-00:14:37 Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work.
  175. 00:14:37-00:14:41 There was this big
    dinosaur thing. Anyway..
  176. 00:14:42-00:14:43 Hi.
  177. 00:14:44-00:14:47 - You remember Susan.
    - How could I forget?
  178. 00:14:48-00:14:51 Hello, Susan.
    Good shake, good shake.
  179. 00:14:53-00:14:56 So, we're just waiting for?
  180. 00:14:56-00:14:59 - Dr. Oberman.
    - And is he?
  181. 00:14:59-00:15:01 - She.
    - Of course, "she."
  182. 00:15:02-00:15:06 Is she familiar with our
    special situation?
  183. 00:15:07-00:15:11 - Yes, and she's very supportive.
    - Okay, that's great.
  184. 00:15:12-00:15:14 No, I'm Oh.
  185. 00:15:15-00:15:16 Thanks.
  186. 00:15:36-00:15:38 That opens my cervix.
  187. 00:15:45-00:15:47 - Barry?
    - Come on in.
  188. 00:15:48-00:15:50 - Are you sure?
    - It's fine.
  189. 00:15:50-00:15:52 Robbie's gonna be here for hours.
  190. 00:15:56-00:15:58 So, how are you doing?
  191. 00:15:59-00:16:00 I'm..
  192. 00:16:01-00:16:03 I'm okay.
  193. 00:16:04-00:16:06 - You look great.
    - Yeah, well.
  194. 00:16:07-00:16:10 Dr. Farber, Jason Greenspan's gagging.
  195. 00:16:10-00:16:13 Be right there. Be back in a second.
  196. 00:16:18-00:16:20 I dumped him.
  197. 00:16:39-00:16:43 I mean, how's this gonna work,
    you know, with us?
  198. 00:16:43-00:16:46 When important decisions
    have to be made?
  199. 00:16:46-00:16:50 - Give me a "for instance."
    - Well, I don't know.
  200. 00:16:50-00:16:53 - How about with the baby's name?
    - Marlon.
  201. 00:16:53-00:16:56 If it's a boy. Minnie, if it's a girl.
  202. 00:16:58-00:17:00 As in "Mouse"?
  203. 00:17:01-00:17:03 As in my grandmother.
  204. 00:17:04-00:17:07 Still, you say "Minnie,"
    you hear "Mouse."
  205. 00:17:09-00:17:10 How about..?
  206. 00:17:11-00:17:12 How about Julia?
  207. 00:17:13-00:17:16 - Julia.
    - We agreed on Minnie.
  208. 00:17:16-00:17:19 We agreed we'd spend
    our lives together.
  209. 00:17:19-00:17:21 Things change.
    Roll with the punches.
  210. 00:17:22-00:17:24 I believe Julia's on the table?
  211. 00:17:27-00:17:29 Sorry about that.
  212. 00:17:32-00:17:34 So, what have you been up to?
  213. 00:17:34-00:17:37 Oh, not much.
  214. 00:17:38-00:17:40 - I got a job.
    - That's great.
  215. 00:17:41-00:17:43 Why are you so tan?
  216. 00:17:46-00:17:48 I went to Aruba.
  217. 00:17:48-00:17:51 Oh, no. You went
    on our honeymoon alone?
  218. 00:17:51-00:17:52 No.
  219. 00:17:56-00:17:57 I went with..
  220. 00:17:59-00:18:01 - Now, this may hurt.
    - Me?
  221. 00:18:01-00:18:02 No.
  222. 00:18:05-00:18:06 I went with Mindy.
  223. 00:18:07-00:18:08 Mindy?
  224. 00:18:09-00:18:11 My maid of honor, Mindy?
  225. 00:18:11-00:18:14 Yeah, we're kind of a thing now.
  226. 00:18:18-00:18:20 You got plugs!
  227. 00:18:20-00:18:23 Careful. They haven't quite taken yet.
  228. 00:18:23-00:18:25 And you got lenses.
  229. 00:18:26-00:18:29 You hate sticking your finger
    in your eye.
  230. 00:18:29-00:18:31 Not for her.
  231. 00:18:35-00:18:37 Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
  232. 00:18:38-00:18:39 Okay.
  233. 00:18:40-00:18:45 A month ago, I wanted to hurt you
    more than I've ever wanted to.
  234. 00:18:45-00:18:47 And I'm an orthodontist.
  235. 00:18:49-00:18:52 You know, you were right.
    I thought we were happy.
  236. 00:18:53-00:18:54 We weren't happy.
  237. 00:18:55-00:18:57 But with Mindy..
  238. 00:18:58-00:19:00 now I'm happy.
  239. 00:19:01-00:19:02 - Spit.
    - What?
  240. 00:19:03-00:19:04 Me.
  241. 00:19:07-00:19:08 Anyway..
  242. 00:19:09-00:19:14 I guess this belongs to you.
    Thank you for giving it to me.
  243. 00:19:19-00:19:21 Thank you for giving it back.
  244. 00:19:23-00:19:25 Hello!
  245. 00:19:28-00:19:32 - Please, what's wrong with Helen?
    - Helen Geller?
  246. 00:19:33-00:19:37 - I don't think so.
    - It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
  247. 00:19:37-00:19:40 - Thank you.
    - No, I mean, it's not Geller.
  248. 00:19:41-00:19:42 It'll be Helen Willick?
  249. 00:19:43-00:19:48 No, actually, we talked about
    Helen Willick Bunch.
  250. 00:19:49-00:19:52 Wait a minute.
    Why is she in the title?
  251. 00:19:52-00:19:54 It's my baby too.
  252. 00:19:54-00:19:57 Really? I don't remember
    you making any sperm.
  253. 00:20:00-00:20:02 And we all know what
    a challenge that is.
  254. 00:20:03-00:20:07 - You two, stop it.
    - She gets a credit. I'm in there too.
  255. 00:20:07-00:20:13 Helen Willick Bunch Geller?
    I think that borders on child abuse.
  256. 00:20:13-00:20:17 Of course not.
    I'm suggesting Geller Willick Bunch.
  257. 00:20:17-00:20:22 See what he does? He knows no one's
    gonna say all those names.
  258. 00:20:22-00:20:24 They'll call her Geller.
    He gets his way.
  259. 00:20:25-00:20:27 My way? You think this is my way?
  260. 00:20:27-00:20:31 Of all the ways I ever imagined
    this moment being..
  261. 00:20:31-00:20:34 this is not my You know what?
    This is too hard.
  262. 00:20:35-00:20:37 Knock, knock. How are we? Any nausea?
  263. 00:20:38-00:20:40 - A little.
    - Just a little.
  264. 00:20:41-00:20:46 I was wondering about the
    mother-to-be, but thanks for sharing.
  265. 00:20:46-00:20:50 - Lie back.
    - You know what? I'm gonna go.
  266. 00:20:50-00:20:54 I don't think I can be involved
    in this family thing.
  267. 00:21:05-00:21:08 - Oh, my God!
    - Look at that.
  268. 00:21:08-00:21:10 I know.
  269. 00:21:20-00:21:22 Well, isn't that amazing?
  270. 00:21:26-00:21:28 What are we supposed to be
    seeing here?
  271. 00:21:29-00:21:34 I don't know, but I think it's about
    to attack the Enterprise.
  272. 00:21:37-00:21:40 If you tilt your head
    and relax your eyes..
  273. 00:21:40-00:21:43 it kind of looks
    like an old potato.
  274. 00:21:44-00:21:46 Then don't do that, all right?
  275. 00:21:48-00:21:51 Monica, what do you think?
  276. 00:21:54-00:21:56 - Are you welling up?
    - No.
  277. 00:21:56-00:22:00 - You are. You're welling up.
    - I'm not.
  278. 00:22:00-00:22:02 - You're gonna be an aunt.
    - Oh, shut up.
  279. 00:22:04-00:22:08 Hi, Mindy. Hi, it's Rachel.
  280. 00:22:08-00:22:12 Yeah, I'm fine. I saw Barry today.
  281. 00:22:12-00:22:17 Yeah, he told me. No, it's okay.
    Really, it's okay.
  282. 00:22:17-00:22:20 I hope you two are very happy.
    I really do.
  283. 00:22:21-00:22:24 And, Min, you know,
    if everything works out..
  284. 00:22:25-00:22:28 and you guys get married
    and have kids..
  285. 00:22:29-00:22:32 I hope they have his hairline
    and your nose!
  286. 00:22:37-00:22:41 That was a cheap shot,
    but I feel so much better now!